Insert Sappy Title Here
by Goddess of Purple Squirrels
Summary: A parodyish thing on a LilyJames fic. With evil rabbits and exclamation marks and overuse of the word 'awesome', what's not to like? ONESHOT


Yun, hun. Another story, with evil bunnies and cheese and overuse of the word awesome. For anybody who thinks I was too shy/embarresed/nerdy to write such a story, you know who you are.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or any affiliates, friends, enimies, parents, cousins, cheese, ect.

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Lily Evans flung her awesomely perfect hair out of her awesomely green eyes as she studied in the Library. She pretended (or actually, really) not to notice the stares of the boys in close proximity, because, as you all know, she only had eyes for James Potter. Oh wait. She hated him. Yeah, that was it.

"HI LILY!" her friend Tammi, who could never talk quietly, yelled.

"It's the library, shhhh!" said Lily irritably.

Her friend Tammi, who was as awesomely pretty as Lily was and would date Sirius in the near future said in a moderately quieter voice

"**Why are you looking out the window at James and Sirius's awesomely hott bodies? Cause Sirius's all mine, ya know.**" Suddenly, she seemed to hear what she just said, and looked awesomely horrified! "I mean, I hate them all! Yeah. That's it."

"Fine, I'm done studying anyways," said Lily, who was awesomely smart and on top of every class. "Let's go ogle Sirius and James's completely shmexy bodies. I mean, meet up with Amy. Yeah, that's it."

So they left the library into the awesomely great Great Hall. After all, there has to be a reason it was called the _Great _hall, after all. They climbed the stairs until they got to the Fat Lady, who let them in without a password because the author was too lazy to make up one. I mean, because Lily was Head Girl. Lily seemed to just realize this, also.

"Oh my gosh!" she said, awesomely startled. "I'm Head Girl with James Potter! I hate him! I can't stand his guts! This gives me such a good opportunity to shag him!"

"OH MY GOSH! YOU'RE RIGHT! THAT'S SO AWESOME!" agreed Tammi.

"Hi, guys," said Amy, the quiet one who would date Remus in the near future. After all, each of Lily's friends had to date a Marauder. Except for Peter, cause he's a jerk. Of course, Amy was awesomely pretty too. "Have you seen Remus? Cause I want to snog him. I mean, cause he's the only decent Marauder."

"Let's go secretly ogle the hott Marauders!" said Lily eagerly.

"AWESOME!" agreed the other two, so they stepped out onto the blazing sunlight of the Quidditch field.

Meanwhile...

James, Sirius and Remus were playing Quidditch. They were awesome, of course. Hot and tired and VERY shmexy, they dropped onto the rolling grass of the field.

"So, how's Evans looking?" said Sirius, smirking in a awesomely hott manner.

"VERY good." said James Potter, Head Boy. Then he frowned. "Evans is mine."

"Ah, lay off, Prongs. You know I want Tammi Schmidt more."

"Ok," said James. And that was that.

Meanwhile, Remus was looking awesomely mysterious and tragic and the hurting secretive man thing. Because he's a creature of the night and all.

"Hey, Moony, why are you doing the awesomely mysterious and tragic and the secretive man thing?"

"Cause I'm a creature of the night!" proclaimed Remus proudly. Sirius ruffled his hair and they had a male bonding moment.

"Awww..." said James. "I mean! Act tough people!"

And they did. Awesomely so.

The Next Day

Because she was actually ogling James Potter who was checking her out, Lily kept missing her mouth with her waffles.

"Drat!" she said, as she dropped another piece of waffle. She looked awesomely annoyed for a second and went back to ogling James.

"WELL IF YOU WOULD STOP OGLING JAMES POTTER, MAYBE YOU COULD NOT MISS YOUR MOUTH WITH WAFFLES," said Tammi. Lily was going to respond that she had cereal all over her front because she was checking out Sirius Black, but the mail arrived in an awesome flurry of owls, who came through the large hole in the ceiling that Dumbledore crashed through when he was high.

"Oooh, look, I got a letter!" said Amy, awesomely delighted. She winked at Remus, who looked slightly confused, then had an idea!

"I'll write her a letter!" he said, meaning Amy of course.

"Read your letter, Amy!" said Lily, awesomely happy for her friend. So Amy did.

_'Dear Miss Amy Hinderson,' _the letter read. _'We are sorry to tell you that your parents were killed last night, by evil rabbits! Signed, the Government.'_

"Oh, no!" Amy wailed, looking awesomely sad. "My parents were murdered by evil rabbits! I'm going to go into a state of depressing and cut myself!" She ran up to the Gryffindor Tower to do so.

"I'm so sorry!" said Lily, looking awesomely sympathetic.

"ALWAYS DOWN THE STREET, NOT ACROSS THE ROAD!" called Tammi after her.

Remus looked awesomely shocked, abandoning his mysterious, melancholy hero-man thing.

"Oh, no! My only true love that I will date in the near future is in a state of depressing and cutting herself!" he cried, and raced off into the Gryffindor tower to rescue her. The rest of the girls/Marauders resumed their eating/ogling.

Later that Day

In History of Magic, Professor Binns droned on and on as usual and Lily, because she was an awesome note-taker person, took notes. The rest of the people ogled other people or played hangman. The bell rang.

"Hey, Evans, go out with me?" said James, his hair awesomely messed up, with his awesome hott body. Lily ogled.

"No way. Bug off, Potter," said Lily, even though he was an awesome stud-muffin and she knew it. Denial was in fashion, ya know? So they headed down to lunch, even though they just had breakfast a paragraph ago. The author was too lazy to make up more classes. Remus and Amy weren't there, presumably snogging the lips off one another. It was best not to think of that while eating.

Then...all of a sudden...AWESOME EVIL RABBITS CONTROLLED BY MOLDY WARTS LEPT THROUGH THE HOLE IN THE CEILING!!!

"Oh, NO!" said Lily, jumping up with her wand in the air (because she had awesome reflexes) and shooting cheese pellets at the advancing rabbits. James stood beside her, flinging cucumbers at them. (because the were the Heads and all) But suddenly! James was struck down by a flying evil rabbit!

Time went in slow-motion.

"NUUUUOOOO!!!" said James, falling and landing motionless on the cold stone floor.

"James!" said Lily, who had, a millisecond before, realized that she loved him and wanted to have his children. But the awesomeness evil rabbits were still advancing! Time resumed its normal pace!

Lily, with all of her awesome magical skills, managed to defeat the rabbits. (there was nobody else in the Great Hall, for some reason) and fell to her knees beside James.

"James!" she said in a heart-broken voice, tears streaming from her awesomely green eyes. James's own eyes flickered open.

"Lily!" he said, and then there was a very sappy moment, and the sun streamed through the hole in the ceiling and even the high hippie Dumbledore managed to speak coherently for a second and smiled. And then they lived awesomely happily ever after, until they died.

TЧə Зи∂

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Muhahaha! If you do not review, I shall sic my evil bunnies upon you!!

I mean. Review please.

The word awesome/awesomeness/awesomely was used 32 times.

Just so you know.


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